Let Me Go
by lady-rouge
Summary: AUSasNarSo what if he had been used as continuous onenight stands over and over? So what if he had been callously used and discarded? But now . . . Sasuke couldn’t pretend to like being used and discarded any longer.


All standard disclaimers apply. I only own the plot. :)

A/N: Hello once again, LadyRouge once again here with another story that will most likely be a short fic with four chaps or so. I already have the story all planned out, but I just need time to write it all down. :sigh: so much inspiration and ideas, but soo little time . . . :( Also, this is AU and will be Sasuke x Naruto.

* * *

Let Me Go

by: LadyRouge

* * *

Chapter 1

When Sasuke was a young four year old boy, he remembered his refusal to sleep in his bed after a frightening encounter with a spider, but now, fourteen years later, as he stared down at his bed, he wished it was for the same trivial matters. Letting a hoarse bitter chuckle escape his tightly pressed lips, Sasuke stepped away from the queen sized bed that he had been gazing at and with a swipe of his hands, he grabbed his pillow and coverlet before striding out the of the dreaded room.

Determined not to look back or dwindle anymore on unpleasant memories, Sasuke strode to his small living room and threw both pillow and coverlet to the sofa before walking the few steps to the connected kitchen of his apartment and grabbing some beer off the counter, he returned to the sofa slowly as he began to drink heavily.

Tonight he wanted to drink and be oblivious to how his life sucked and how much he hated himself right now for being weak.

Hated too, how he had to drink himself into a stupor to make himself become oblivious to those familiar knocks that would come on his front door before the knob would turn to open. But this time, unlike all the others, the door would be locked and Sasuke didn't want to be conscious when that happened.

-

When Sasuke woke, it was to the sound of twittering birds and a bright assault of sun beams that shone straight through the window and into his eyes. Cursing at the birds, the sun, the beer and his thunderous headache, Sasuke stumbled into the bathroom and managed to take a cold shower before walking to the kitchen and grabbing some medicine to take. Walking into his bedroom, Sasuke ignored the sight of his bed and finding a fresh pair of pants and shirt to put on, Sasuke rubbed his head tiredly before looking at his watch with a grimace to discover that he had thirty minutes to make it to his first class of the day: History.

Turning to the chair on his right, Sasuke grabbed his coat and put it on hurriedly before slinging his book bag around his shoulder and walking out of his apartment room.

If he hurried, he would have time to go grab a cup of coffee and a muffin. Feeling his mood lighten up somewhat, Sasuke headed to Sweets Avenue.

Fifteen minutes later and feeling a hell of a lot better, Sasuke walked out with his streaming cup of coffee—mouth still chewing on the last bites of his blueberry muffin—and made a left to head towards the university that he attended. Giving his watch a casual glance, Sasuke was pleased to note that he would make it on time to class as usual.

With two minutes to spare, Sasuke walked into his history lecture hall and giving the medium sized class a brief glance, Sasuke walked to his usual seat in the front left corner, but not before hearing the loud laughter of a certain blond in the back who he leaned over and whispered something to the girls and guys surrounding him. The girls blushed wildly, but the guys just laughed before high-fiving the blond.

Sasuke just turned his head stiffly towards the front and tightened his lips as a small wave of disappointment hit him, but he shoved it away forcefully. He had been expecting the blond to be waiting to give him a good pounding or a good yelling . . . or be upset . . . or be angry . . . or something! Anything, but that nonchalant and easy manner that told everyone that the world was on his side . . . that he had no worries . . . and maybe he didn't . . . maybe he wasn't as affected as Sasuke . . .

That thought made Sasuke straighten up and clench his fists as his eyes narrowed in anger. So what if he had been used as continuous one-night stands over and over? Sasuke bit his lips roughly and could feel his teeth break the delicate skin of his lip, but he was beyond caring. So what if Naruto ignored him in the day—hardly spoke much to him—and used him at night for sex at Sasuke's apartment for that matter? Sasuke didn't care at all . . . didn't care that Naruto surrounded himself with many girls in the daytime, but came to him as if he was the only one who he—dare he call it?—loved at night. Once again hearing Naruto chuckle loudly from the back of the room, Sasuke only clenched his teeth tightly before unclenching them forcefully. So what if he had been callously used and discarded? It wasn't the first time that Sasuke had been at the receiving ends of them. Forcefully relaxing his muscles and face expression, Sasuke ignored the tightness of his chest and turned all attention to the professor.

-

Four hours later found Sasuke sitting quietly in the library as he finished his history essay before starting his Anthropology research and upon hearing his stomach growl, Sasuke chanced a look at his watch to discover that it was five minutes to 4:30. Scowling at how fast time went, Sasuke grudgingly packed his book bag efficiently before slinging it over his shoulder and walking to the nearest café to grab a bite to eat. Sasuke mentally calculated the amount of time he had for everything and he found that he only had ten minutes to eat before rushing back to his apartment and changing into his work attire before being allowed ten minutes to get to work. Satisfied, Sasuke walked into the café and came out ten minutes later with a take out dish in his hand and his book bag in the other.

Rushing to his apartment, he threw everything on the counter before running to grab the red and black outfit that was required for working at the bar two streets down of Sasuke's apartment. Regardless of the slimy and perverted owner of the bar, Sasuke vowed that he needed the money more and that he would not quit that job.

He wanted his independence from his so-called family too badly.

Throwing everything on, Sasuke ran out the door before realizing something and running back in to grab a bottle of medicine and opening it swiftly, Sasuke shook out two pills onto his hands and with a glass of water, he drank them down quickly before running back out once more.

By the time he made it to work, he ignored the loudness and rowdiness of the bar and pushed his way straight to the back to check-in before returning reluctantly to the bar counter where people drank and laughed loudly.

It was going to be a long 6 hour shift.

-

By the time 11:00 came around, Sasuke was ready to high tail it out of there and he did. He was angry and not too happy with his boss tonight, but when had he ever been? Not when his boss was Orochimaru. Twisted, perverted Orochimaru who always sent him looks from the back of the room that Sasuke did not want to decipher. He didn't know and didn't want to know. The only thing that got Sasuke through his job was the other bartenders that worked beside him: Sakura and Lee.

Lee . . . Lee was something else and although the guy was too energized and talkative for Sasuke, Sasuke found himself feeling comfortable around Lee because Lee never expected anything from him, but instead gave and gave. Sakura too, was nice and knew that he wasn't the type to engage in meaningless talk. She gave him the space that he wanted and somehow, was able to tell whenever he was upset by Orochimaru.

Giving a sigh at the thought of Orochimaru, Sasuke hurried along the dimly-lit block and hurried towards the tall apartment building that stood proudly in between the grocery store and the bookstore. He trudged up the stairs slowly before opening his door and dropping everything on the floor in weariness. Same story everyday, Sasuke thought with dim eyes. Sleep, eat, school, eat, work, sex . . .

But not anymore . . .

His expression darkened as he fell into thought. It seemed like forever that he and Naruto had fallen into this behavior, but in actuality, it had only been about a couple months. His hand that had been griping the counter tightened as he looked dazedly to the window and the stars that lay beyond.

He hadn't meant for it to go this long when it had first started. They had been assigned to be partners for a history project and Sasuke had tried to be civil to this blond man who brought so much sunshine with him everywhere, but something about this man who seemed to have no troubles irked Sasuke to no end. This blond man had everything and was always smiling that idiotic smile that somehow always made Sasuke's heart beat a little faster than usual. They had bickered on and off during the project, but always managed to come to an agreement. Things had gone well until the last night of their project.

Sasuke remembered adding the finishing touches to their project in his living room and had been leaning tiredly against the sofa when he felt eyes lingering and gazing at his face and Sasuke turned in surprise to see Naruto staring intently at him.

"Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" the husky voice of the blond carried to the dark-haired man and Sasuke blinked in surprise before a pair of lips ascended on to his gently. It had soon turned into a fierce hunger that took hold of both and soon, Sasuke found him and Naruto stumbling to his bed, fumbling with the other's clothes and by the time they had had sex, they were both frantic, hot and panting.

Sasuke woke up that day with Naruto gone and he did not have any illusions that that one-night stand was going to turn into something bigger. Sasuke knew better than to expect something like that from the blond and seeing that the project was done, Sasuke did not expect to see the blond anymore, but the blond had confused him by coming that night and the next night and the night after that.

The first night that the blond came, he had knocked softly and Sasuke had opened in confusion to see the blond standing there with a look that Sasuke had never seen before on his face. "Can I come in?" the blond had said with a look at Sasuke and feeling his stomach clench, Sasuke somehow knew what the blond had come for.

And he was right.

The blond had stepped in and had looked at Sasuke for a moment before leaning down to kiss him passionately and Sasuke lost control after that. It was the same every night until Sasuke began to leave the door unlocked for the blond—to just let the blond crawl into his bed whenever he came in—but lately, things had begun to change and Sasuke didn't like it at all.

For once in his life, he was afraid. Truly afraid.

He began to experience weird emotions that he had never experienced before and it scared him. It had irritated him to see Naruto forget about him in the daytime what with all his friends, but never had he experienced such fierce need to hurt those girls and guys that stared at the blond with something other than friendship. Hell, he wanted to hurt them even if they were just friends because he envied their closeness to Naruto, their easy friendship with Naruto while Sasuke—Sasuke was left in the shadows.

It was then that he realized he couldn't play these games anymore. He had not liked it in the beginning for it hurt his pride, but being with Naruto was addicting and made Sasuke closer to the emotion of content than anything else, but in the end, Sasuke realized that it couldn't go on anymore.

He couldn't pretend to like being used and discarded any longer.

Yesterday had been his first attempt to tell the blond and it seemed that Sasuke had got all worked up for nothing. Sasuke let his mouth tilt mockingly at himself as he continued to stare at the bright gleaming stars that decorated the night sky. Naruto didn't even bat an eye at him this morning—hadn't even showed signs of upset or anger at Sasuke. And although Sasuke told himself that it was all for the better, he couldn't help but feel hurt. Did he mean nothing!

Sasuke's eyes clenched angrily and bitterly before he slumped in weariness and got up to go towards the bedroom. If Naruto didn't care, he sure in hell wouldn't care either. He had just passed the bathroom when he heard a soft knock before it got louder and freezing, Sasuke turned carefully before staring at the door warily.

Who could it be at this time of night?

Only one person, Sasuke knew without a doubt. Feeling himself tense immediately, Sasuke walked slowly towards the door and held his hand to the knob to open but the knocking stopped and Sasuke froze as he waited. After a pause, the knock came again and Sasuke opened it with a turn of the knob and push of the door to reveal the blond standing there hesitantly. Ignoring the hitch of his breath that came with the sight of the blond, Sasuke moved a step back to look at the blond carefully.

"Can I help you?" Sasuke stated slowly, almost politely; ignoring the fact that Naruto had come every night for the past couple of months to his apartment.

Naruto's face tinged pink slightly. "Can I . . . come in?" Sasuke could feel his heart beating rapidly as his throat closed. "Please . . ." The voice came and Sasuke's resolve almost crumbled, but he firmly kept it standing.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke could hear his voice say steadily, but inside, Sasuke felt himself quivering all over as he fought for strength. "But this can't go on anymore," his voice came out calmly and it was to the widening of incredible blue eyes and slight hurt on Naruto's face that Sasuke closed his door to.

Only when the sound of reluctant footsteps echoed fadingly to Sasuke's straining ears, did Sasuke allow the bitter pang in his chest to roam freely.

tbc . . .

-

A/N: All comments welcome on if this idea should be further pursued or not. I'm still not sure if I should start on something new . . . but we'll see . . .


End file.
